Session: How We Feel When We Lead

In this session, ESOL student leaders and teachers from Mexico, Guyana and Yemen share experiences of leadership and learning.

The first presenter (a learner) talked about how her desire to develop her leadership comes from her desire to be a model for her children. She also related how decisions such as coming to America and starting a family were very conscious, and how that sort of decision making is part of leadership. She shared a story about

The second presenter (a teacher) asked - "Why the title - 'How we feel when we lead'? She related how she came from a traditional background in Guyana, where gender roles are very defined and women's access to education was limited. Her mother worked on her own to overcome this, and became an avid reader. The presenter noted that she often uses her mother as an example for her students. She also went back to college in her 30s, and became the first woman in her family to attend college.

She also talked about a student who persisted in the face of financial troubles that really left her feeling down and useless, but who kept going and became a teaching assistant. That student told her, after starting that job, "People respect me! They call me Ms. M---!" That feeling is part of the leadership journey.

The floor is then turned over to the room for the first group activity - "What does leadership mean to you?"

Power of example
Responsiblity (X2)
Organization
Service
Structure
Creativity
Support
Achievement
Strength
Polite
Patience
Persistence
Perseverance
Goals

The third presenter (a student and women's rights activist) is from Yemen. She came to America at 7, dropped out of school at 11 and her family thought it was a great decision. With four kids, she learned to cook and help around the house - very gender specific role. At 18, she got married. Had two kids. Then she felt empty, so decided to go back to school. Her husband went to her parents, but they supported her. When she was in class she felt alive - like she had a brain and it was working. Then they lived in Alabama for two years, but nothing was free. Learned how to swim and drive. Came back, got divorced, is now in GED and has never felt happier. We deserve the best!

Her story focuses on personal initiative and taking care of herself.

The fourth presenter (a learner) grew up in a house with domestic violence. Her parents got divorced and her world fell apart. Her school was disrupted. However, she is now in a leadership training program. They had a bake sale to raise money to come here. She also talked about being involved in the hiring process for a position at their school, and great an experience that was. She has made friends in the process.

Second group activity - "What are the barriers to leadership and learning?"

Responses from group:

Self-esteem
Education
Culture
Communication (like Proper Grammar)
People Skills
Interacting
Traditions
Time
Childcare (much nodding and murmurs of approval)
Transportation
Sometimes husbands
Sometimes existing leadership
Sometimes relationships
Addiction
Money
Stigma
Lack of resources
Experience
Languages
Approach of practitioners/methods
Negative attitudes
Backgrounds
Self-confidence (Participant to group: "It's mandatory New York!")

Presenter says: "If you say 'I can't do it' the limit is inside you."
Participant: "You have to believe to receive."

The fifth presenter (a learner and leadership award winner) then starts by asking, "Why am I studying?" She has a slide:

It is nice to know.
Because the world has more and more colors than we can see and explain.
Ignorance is as heavy as a stone.
Study is better for us when we know more.
We can quickly understand what hurts us.
We can quickly understand what we need.

Key quote: "We are the leaders in our house. We are the leaders of our lives."

She lost a scholarship in her home country because she was a woman, even though she had a good academic record. But here the barrier is language. But she loves to serve. She also talked about going to the hospital for contraceptives, because she didn't know where to go. She ended up talking to people in the ER, who then told her to go someplace else (language was a communication hurdle). Later on, she got a bill for $500, even though she didn't do anything in the ER except ask questions about contraception. She did not pay it. She is an accountant in her home country, and a volunteer.

Then there was another large group activity with two questions: (1) What motivates you to learn and lead? and (2) What are some of your leadership goals?

Goals included - stay in school, better job, elevate self-esteem, to help, to inspire others to lead
Motivation - Family, ticket to independence, used bad example to push us forward

The session then wrapped up.